Korea, Tuesday Nov. 22nd, 2011

On Tuesday, November 22nd we didn't have any important foster family meetings so we decided to go and be busy for the day. It was a cold rainy day but we knew the kids needed to get outside and do some running around so we went to a Korean Folk Village that was suggested to us.

The village wasn't very crowded because it was cold, but it was soooo pretty! It had replicated many different types of buildings and it had different performances that we got to watch. The first performance was a tight rope walker- this guy was really good! He did different types of stunts while up on the rope- all with NO soft landing below, just the regular old ground!

I know this photo of calen is blurry, but he LOVED clapping for the tight rope walker and I thought it was cute!

Calen thought it was pretty neat and while we were watching the guy perform, Calen ran to a nearby bench and pretended to tightrope walk also! He got KatieJoy into the fun as well and as we were watching (of course I was taking pictures) from afar, Calen told KatieJoy to "Jump" and he held out his arms like he would catch her. Well, she didn't hesitate one bit and she jumped right into his open arms… and then they toppled to the ground, as clearly Calen isn't strong enough to catch his sister! I wish I had gotten a photo of all that action, but I was already in process of moving towards them when I saw what was going to happen! Luckily they were both fine and they giggled about it for another 5 minutes with each other. When these two aren't fighting they are SO adorable together. Calen can tell KatieJoy almost anything and she'll do it because she adores him so much. Luckily he hasn't figured out how to abuse this power yet and they were pretty darn cute with each other the entire week we were in Korea.

Right before her big jumping performance- see that sparkle in her eye?!? Yeah- that's her mischievous look!

After the jumping/catching act that my children performed, we walked to another part of the village to watch a traditional Korean wedding. The outfits were beautiful and it was pretty neat to watch the traditions that went along with the ceremony- of course, we couldn't understand a word of what they were saying during the wedding, but that was okay! ;-) (as a side note, the entire time we were in Korea, Calen was so upset that we (mainly HE) couldn't understand Korean. Language has always been my son's biggest strength so I'm thinking I need to possibly find someone to teach him or us a bit of Korean before we go back to Korea...)

Just goofing around, but not at all willing to look at the camera- kinda how the whole week went with my camera in Korea!

We continued to just walk around and admire the grounds of the village. Everything was almost dead for the oncoming winter months, but there was still a bit of color on the trees. I imagine the hills surrounding the grounds to be "on fire" with the full fall colors and someday plan to visit Korea during that time of year!

We left when it was almost dark and headed back to get some pizza and just relax for the rest of the night as the next day was our last full day in Korea and it was packed with shopping and having dinner with Calen's foster family!

~Mandy~

Our day in Korea- Monday Nov. 21st, 2011

On Monday we took it easy in the morning and then left around 10 am to head to Eastern Adoption Agency to drop off some letters for a friend's daughter. I had promised to take the letters and made sure I explained who they were for to the lady that greeted me when I walked in. It was neat to see a different agency and I'm glad that we got to quickly see what Eastern was like. We had the cab driver wait and then we headed to Holt to drop off all the donations that people sent with us and to say hi to KatieJoy's and Calen's social workers (they each have a different one) and then we got to have a meeting/lunch with KatieJoy's foster parents and her social worker, DJ (who translated for us). While we were at Holt we also ran into the foster mom that took us home the day we got KatieJoy- it was so neat to see her and for her to see how well KatieJoy has adjusted to us as she was the one who got to witness KatieJoy grieve so hard the day we took her. We took a few quick photos and parted ways. It was such a nice surprise that she happened to have an appt at Holt that day- God has such awesome divine intervention! We saw a few babies in and out of the office, but none that I recognized since we aren't really in process.

KatieJoy, DJ & I in front of the donations many others helped us gather for the babies in Korea!

KatieJoy's Foster mom and Ji-Yeon (the foster mom who helped us last time we were in Korea) with a super shy KatieJoy & I





We left Holt and had lunch at a place called Bulgogi Brothers with DJ and KatieJoy's foster mom and dad. OHMYGOSH is this food SOOOOO good. We had mandu (we've never tried mandu before this week and I'm officially in love), bulgogi and the kids had dolsat bibimbop.
We also tried plum soda after hearing of several other families trying it and it was so yummy- I didn't think it would be but man was it good! KatieJoy's foster family brought what felt like a million gifts for the kids- the foster mom knew it would help KatieJoy warm up to her and it really did! Her foster mom also handed me one small package and told DJ that it was KatieJoy's umbilical cord…I shook my head yes that I understood but after a few seconds it actually hit me what I was holding. I won't lie- I lost it and was very close to breaking into a sobbing mess. I was holding a piece of my daughter that was attached to her birth mom- how could I possibly be more in awe of a gift. It was the most precious gift I have EVER received- that may seem weird to some of you, but to me it means the world.

KatieJoy was very timid around foster parents for a bit, but as soon as we were done eating her foster mother got on the floor with her and started writing with her crayons on a drawing pad they had given her. I can't remember exactly what the note says- but DJ said it said something along the lines of "I love you and miss you. I'm so happy to see you." I need to have it actually translated! lol Once she drew with her (for those of you who know, my daughter LOVES to color and clearly her foster mom knew that about her) KatieJoy was more open to sitting near her and playing for a few minutes.

KatieJoy held her hand for a few moments and it melted my heart!

She still completely knew the best place to tickle little miss and KatieJoy ate it up!

I had DJ explain to her that KatieJoy had a rough transition at first and that even after four months with us she saw one photo of her foster family (the story is here) and she cried for them for 3 days- that made the foster mom cry a bit but she understood why we took photos down for a while. We talked a bit about what KatieJoy was like and they told us that she used to scream as loud as possible until she got what she wanted…uh- yup that still describes my daughter- hence the plane trip here! It's good to know things like that though- it reminds us that she is being herself and her tantrums are not at all attachment related but more personality related! We're going to have to work hard on that as she ages! haha. After that it was time for a few photos and lunch was done. KatieJoy's foster father is a taxi driver and asked DJ if we would mind if he drove us back to our room so even though we had no translator we got to have a few more minutes with her family and those few moments were of course precious to us. It was so hard for me to let go of the foster mom when we took custody of KatieJoy and Monday was the same way. I am so so so grateful for her and how she and her family took care of KatieJoy- I have absolute adoration for our children's Korean families and feel so blessed to have some connections with them.

After we left the foster family we attempted to get the kids some nap time, but they had other plans. They ran around our room like a bunch of wild animals while allen fell asleep and then later in the day we went out to do some window shopping and as soon as KatieJoy hit the stroller she was out- she took about a 45 minute nap and then we headed to a new place for dinner that was like a 5 course meal! Seriously it started out with soup, went to a salad with some shrimp, then it was some salmon with a potato type side dish; then it was steak with rice and finally dessert (the orange thing is like 5 teas put together into a gel & the other had like bean powder on it and it as super cold on the inside). It was insane- it was very good but there was SO MUCH FOOD- it was also very cheap- we paid less than 100,000 won for our dinner (less than $100 bucks)- no where in the USA could you have a meal like that for that cheap!

After dinner we hit the sack for our adventure the next day! :) And finally, that night, KatieJoy slept all through the night without any wake-ups. We weren't sure what seeing her foster family might do to her (& honestly had people telling us at home that it was a bad idea to come here) but you know what? God is good and he took care of the details- once again we are overjoyed in knowing that being here this week was absolutely God ordained.
~Mandy~

Things I learned in Korea- Nov 20th, 2011

Sorry, but I only took a few photos today and they were on my iphone. Nothing spectacular so I'm not going to post as they were just a photo of each kid sleeping (finally!) and a photo of the Onnuri Church service that we went to this evening (this is a Christian church that I've heard about through other families that have traveled and I have watched several of their services online- it was fantastic to attend).

This morning we just went out so that we could be out and about in Seoul. We went shopping in a big shopping district and experienced the Lotte Department store so that I could get a few gift certificates for our children's foster families. (Last time we came, I stressed and stressed about what to give as gifts. Once we were here I learned that they pretty much have EVERYTHING we have in America... so this trip I asked if a gift certificate would be apporpriate instead to someplace popular here in Korea. Thankfully that is completely acceptable and I was referred to the Lotte Department store. I want to show our love but not in a form of giving things that they don't need or want; so hopefully these are well recieved by the families!) This place was CRAZY- floors and floors of stuff... I mean like at least 10! It was a large store- each floor probably the size of a regular Macy's for us in the states? There was an ENTIRE floor dedicated to golf stuff. CRAZY expensive- one nike sweatshirt or pullover thing- around 150,000 won- conversion rate of around $140! I completely understand why our outlet stores in Gilroy are always so busy with Asian tourists now...

It was biting cold yesterday- around 32 degrees most of the day with a bit of a wind. I'm so happy I overpacked and made sure to bring our large jackets! However, we all enjoyed getting out and are looking forward to doing so in an hour or so today. I learned several things yesterday while being out and about...

1. I actually can recognize areas of Seoul by sight! Uh- huge thing here as Seoul is GIGANTIC and I thought I'd be completely at a loss when were were out yesterday. (Plus I was so wrapped around getting KatieJoy last time we were here that I didn't think I paid much attention to where we were, but apparently I did)
2.There are WAY more Caucasions here than last time. We noticed this while we were out shopping and with where we went to church. Apparently this is due to South Korea being completely okay becoming a more diverse. I LOVE that and it made me feel even more comfortable being here.
3.Worshipping God in a church in Korea with my children at my sides is something I didn't expect to be emotional about, but I was. (and yes, I cried)
4.The Onnuri pastor is passionate about adoption and orphan care and even though his service wasn't directly related to either of those, he wrapped those topics in several times into the service. I also learned from a video that he showed that they are many orphans in Korea that are not allowed to be adopted domestically or internationally. Want to know why? Because they were born into a married couple. Because of that one reason, they must grow up in an orphanage until they are 18 years old. I was heartbroken to say the least. The video with these beautiful children...well it just broke me a bit & God is stirring something in me that I'm not quite sure what to do with yet.
5.Korea is beautiful in the fall and I love it here so much more than I even thought before I came this week.
6.I don't mind Korean taxi drivers nearly as much as I did last time- I'm actually pretty relaxed when on the road this time.
and
7.Being here is so comfortable. (I do believe that someday we'll live here- even if it's just for a month at a time during the summer to teach English.)


Maybe I'll get to add more things to this list as the week goes on? But for today, I'm going to wrap up my ramblings so that in 2 hours we get to see and spend time with KatieJoy's foster parents! Please pray for KatieJoy's heart during this meeting... she has done extremely well on our trip but she is a tired 2 year old and had a few bad wakeups last night. We're really praying for a full nap and night rest tonight from her!

I promise to take pictures today! ;-)

~Mandy~

Getting to Korea November 18, 2011

Well, we made it! Of course in our family's fashion we had a stressful time getting to this point! We left our house yesterday morning at 7:45 am; plenty of time to get to the airport and have time to spare for a 12:50 flight normally. Apparently though, when you leave your car in long-term parking it is NOT enough time!

By the time we parked, got our millions of bags (ok-3 large totes of donations, 2 large suitcases, 1 duffle bag with care packages for a few holt babies, and 4 backpacks plus sweaters... see? it felt like a million!) onto the airport shuttle and then back off again 15 minutes later, onto 2 different luggage carts (which by the way cost $5 each at the SFO airport!), through ticketing (no overages-thankyouverymuch!), through security (through the family line thanks to a nice security man), all the way down to the last possible gate in the terminal...we had 15 minutes to wait for boarding!!! My internal stress level was pretty darn high until we hit the gate and then the nice man that checked our luggage let us go onto the plane 1st... yeah, i thought that was awesome until we didn't take off for another HOUR!

Ready to Go

All our 2 year old wanted to do was watch movies on the little tv in front of her & of course since we weren't in the air, she couldn't. She did great until take off and then she went into a wild, 2 year old, STUBBORN as an ox (I could totally have used a different phrase here) FULL on tantrum. For all of take off and maybe 15 minutes more after that she was gone. For those of you who have gotten to an experience a KatieJoy tantrum you feel my pain. This child screams at the top of her lungs like someone is torturing her, kicks and throws her whole 40 pound self all over the place. It.was.horrid. andohsoembarassing as the lady in front of me had clearly never had children and was fit to be tied that I couldn't make her stop. (Can I just say that I really really REALLY hope karma comes and gets that woman when she has kids???) I think I was bright red with embarrassment for the first 2 hours of the flight. KatieJoy finally conked from sheer exhaustion on me right after her tantrum and slept for maybe 1.5 hours (but I don't think it was even that long). The people around us were great except for cranky lady in front of me...the plane had 3 rows of 3... do the math-there's 4 of us! SO allen and I were constantly switching seats to try to reign in little miss & her big brother who literally played video games and watched a few movies for 10 hours of our 13 hour flight! 13 hours goes so slowly when trying to entertain a 2 year old who doesn't fit into earphones very well, wants to touch EV.ER.Y.thing, and can't use the controls on anything electronic. I think it's twice as long for mom and dad (& possibly triple for the lady in front of me- can you tell I'm holding a bit of animosity towards her?) KatieJoy slept maybe another hour towards the end of the flight but couldn't quite get comfortable and was not happy about that so the last 2 hours of the flight while Calen slept like an angel (THANK GOD) Allen and I kept handing KatieJoy back and forth to keep her from another meltdown. Finally we saw the lights of Korea below us. However, while we were sitting waiting for everyone else to get off the plane, KatieJoy decided it was a good time to get air sick and throw up every single thing she had eaten during the flight. Yup- that was great fun. Eeeeeeew.

(To be fair to my daughter, I should say for her 2 year old diva self she did excellent and really there is NO good way to be stuck on a plane for 13 hours. If she hadn't had the tantrum at the beginning of the flight, I think it wouldn't have seem so terrible).

We finally navigated our way through the airport, got through immigration after a few more paper fill outs as our flight attendants told us the wrong amount of slips to sign. Found all our luggage- HUGE YAY!!! Exchanged our money and found our van driver who took us into Seoul- which for those of you who don't know, is ANOTHER hour trip as least! KatieJoy finally fell asleep for good during the car ride and missed dinner- hence why she was up at 3 am here complaining that she wasn't tired any more and that she was "hooon-gry!"

Throughout the flight as I stressed out about our daughter, the lady in front of me and how many hours the screen in front of me said we still had to go, I reminded myself that I may NEVER see any of those people again (can you all pray that mean lady won't be on our returning flight please?) and that the trip is completely worth everything- including my horrid migraine I got after 2 hours of flying- because we are helping our children to know where they were born, who helped raise them before they were forever placed with us and we are making memories that I can turn into long old stories on our blog! ;-) Honestly, I know this is where we are meant to be this week and although I HATE the flight with a passion, I can't imagine not trying to bring our children here every few years to see their foster families- or our Korean families. And you know what convinced me of this fact? 2 things. The first was that I recently found out that we are the FIRST parents to bring a child back to Korea to see KatieJoy's foster family---they have fostered babies for over 20 years and we are the first! I made her a promise that we would be back to visit when we took KatieJoy from her arms and keeping that promise has clearly been something that needed to happen. And second, the look on Calen's face as we were driving through Seoul last night told me something- he knew where he was. He is as comfortable being in Korea as he is at home. This is only the second time he has been back here, but through our conversations about Korea and his memories, he knows this is a place that he can belong. And that is something that I hope both of my children will forever know.

Love,
~Mandy~

PS- thank you to all of you who have been praying for KatieJoy and I. We are feeling a TON better and thanks to antibiotics I do believe we are going to have a stellar 5 days here!

Adoption...

That one word has changed my life. It moves me. It makes me cry and dance with joy. It is as much a part of me as my hands & feet.
In just a few days I will be speaking at our church for Orphan Sunday. Telling hundreds of people our family story in a very brief way and telling them that it is God's desire that we as his people care for the children of this entire world who do not have a family to call their own. I am overwhelmed by the sheer thought of the fact that God just might use me to help another family see the joy of adoption; that it could turn into several families in our church that want to get involved; or maybe even a handful of families in our community that decide that adoption is not something only "wealthy" people do. I have been praying that God puts his words into my brain and that He shines through what is said at church that day.
Two weeks from tomorrow we as a family will trek across the world to the land of the morning calm. We are flying to Korea to visit our children's birth country and foster families. To see the sights, hear the sounds and smell the very different, yet very normal smells of a country that Allen and I have come to love and yearn for. This is nothing short of God as I had no real desire to ever love any country other than America. Yet through many series of events the past year, I have learned that God has things in store for me, for our family that I never thought in a million years would be in our future. While I am not at all looking forward to our 13 hour flight to Korea, I can think of nothing better than visiting our children's foster families and taking a boatload of donations that have been sent to us from ALL over the USA to our adoption agency during our Thanksgiving week break. We feel it is so important to help our children know their birth culture and country and we are so beyond blessed that this opportunity has come up. For those of you wondering (as I know there are several!) we are not going to be bringing a baby home! There is no "new" adoption story for us- at least not right now there isn't. :)
A few weeks ago, I devoured a new book out called Kisses From Katie. I was originally drawn to this new book due to it's adoption story. A story of a 22 year old woman named Katie Davis who has adopted 14 girls in Uganda. However, while the adoption theme in this book was amazing and nothing short of God, the entire book had me in tears. It is a book that has made me realize that I need to seek God more- and I mean MORE as in every single second of every single day. The way that this 22 year old woman has lived her life since she was 18 years old; the way she listens to our God; the way that she is changing children's lives in Uganda... my heavens what the world could be like if we all loved on people the way God calls us to and the way she has consciously chosen to do so. Go- go and read this book...that is all I can say!
Adoption has changed my entire life. Through adoption, I have been given my two biggest treasures in life, I have made life long friends who have hearts that beat a lot like mine does, and I have found one more God driven purpose in my life and wow am I so excited to see where God takes us!

The BEST gifts God has ever, EVER given to me!

~Mandy~

Family Photos

A week or so ago we took family photos. It took us all morning to get ready and I was massively stressed out with the kids, the outfits and making sure little Miss KatieJoy didn't get me dirty while she made me carry her everywhere that day! (this gave me great insight as to why so many families that I take photos of are stressed out before the shoot starts!) It was literally a 10 minute shoot as a photographer friend was just doing us a quick favor. See I can't take my own family photos- the kids absolutely will not look at a camera on a tri-pod and we really needed some family photos done for several reasons.

1. We have NO good family photos of the 4 of us all together AT.ALL! (KatieJoy has been home for 18 months now and these are our first photographs together that weren't just snapshots!) and I really want to do a new collage on our wall with a few family photos of us all together.

2.This is the MAIN reason... ready? WE are headed to Korea THIS November and I want to take some nice prints of our whole family together for the kids' foster family's and their birth family files. And yes, you all read that right- THIS November! We are so excited about this, but more on that in a few days! :)

For now, here are my favorite photos!

New {Old} Post...

So- I just found my post that I had written back at the end of April for KatieJoy's 1 year Gotcha Day anniversary... yeah- that's bad. I can't believe it took me almost 6 months to finish it- all that I had to do was finish putting PHOTOS into it- yep, officially I hate blogger. If you're interested in reading a 6 month old post, it's 2 posts below this one. *SIGH*

I miss blogging...

I miss it so much that the words and posts are just tumbling in my head every single day. I've had my hiatus. My kids are a little less needy and will allow me to write now when I want (or at least I hope they will)...so I think it's time to come back to blogging about our little family and all the amazing (& mundane) things that God does in our lives...Does anyone still look at this page??? Just checking. It doesn't much matter as I WILL be writing again soon regardless of readers or not... I'm just looking into getting a different platform to blog on (which could take a few weeks). One that allows me to post pictures easily. LOTS and LOTS of pictures. Of our life. our BEAUTIFUL kids. possibly of my photography endeavors as I've gotten pretty busy and had some practice now. maybe a few of allen. and one or two of me from time to time. or maybe not :)

Mandy

A year ago...

***I just found this- I never finished putting the photos in place- this was 6 MONTHS AGO! Oh how I can't wait to get a new blog site!***

A year ago today we got our little KatieJoy placed in our arms for forever...in some respects it seems that our daughter has been with us for much longer but still- a year has just zoomed by!

in Korea with daddy

First week home

I've been thinking a lot about this past year with our daughter. We've had a lot of ups and downs and set backs and small or large victories. I read back through the small amount of blogging I've done in the past year and man did all those feelings and memories come pouring back into my heart and mind.

1st few months home

Looking back at our posts in Korea was hard- KatieJoy literally didn't like us and was so scared of what was happening to her little life. She hated me- really she did. I can look back at pictures now that I found precious right when she came home, but the sadness in her eyes make me want to cry now. Her eyes did not have the sparkle they do now...She has come SO far in the past year! She is still very timid and shy around others that she doesn't know well but at home our little girl is hilarious! She takes it upon herself to really make us laugh. She loves hugs and tickles; she is girly and loves to wear her tutu's but she is also totally into balls, cars and trains like her big brother. She still thinks her big brother is something pretty special- he can say one word and she will find it so funny that she laughs for hours at him! They fight like any brother and sister, but there is also a very special bond between them- there's this unspoken specialness (I know- not a word, right?) but it's true. You can tell they would fight to the death for one another if they had to- they are so protective of one another it floors me sometimes, but most of all it reminds me that God had planned for it to be that way all along. That God had planned for our little family to work out the way it has.

Home six+ months

It took quite some time for KatieJoy to really start talking but in the past few months her language has just exploded. Her first real sentence was "Iwanit" or I want it! Recently we've noticed that Calen will ask her "KatieJoy can you say ____"? and she'll say exactly what he's asking her to say. Does she do this for us? Not nearly with the accuracy she does it for Calen- it's so cute- she wants to be like him so much!

She is officially a mama's girl (she still loves her daddy and LOVES LOVES LOVES it when he chases her around the house or tickles her) but she asks for me all the time and is attached to my side when I am home. Just 2 days ago I was reading through my posts from meeting her in Korea and was reading about how she didn't like me at all in our first meeting- right after reading that she woke up from her nap and called for me "Mommy? MOOOOOMMMY!!!" :) I'm a sap and I know it, but it really made me tear up because hey! I worked hard for that this past year!


I recently read a statistic about unwed mothers in Korea that floored me and made me even more grateful to be able to be the parent of my beautiful children- for every 100 unwed pregnant women in Korea, 96 will have an abortion, 3 will choose adoption for their children and 1 will choose to parent their child...If I could ever EVER look my children's birthmom's in the face and say thank you, I would- in a heartbeat...

We've celebrated our spring break this week by being down at Disneyland and as we head back today we plan to stop in LA's Koreatown for some yummy Korean food to celebrate our special day as a family of 4- KatieJoy's Gotcha Day!

My sweet little love,

I am so grateful to God that I was chosen to be your mommy. You amaze me with your strength and beauty every single day. There is not a day that goes by that I do not remember what it was like to not have you or Calen home with me- my heart and arms ached to hold you and kiss you which is why I do those things multiple times a day now! You have come so far in the past year and as hard as some of this year was, I wouldn't trade it for the world because your daddy and I got to watch you grow and change and figure out who you were. We love you so much and we can't wait to celebrate many many more Gotcha Days with you! Don't ever change my stubborn Korean girl!

Love,

Mommy (Daddy & Brother too)